Q & A #4

Three more Q’s to be A’d. But, first, a word about my blog.

Eilers Pizza contains every piece I have sliced on gender dysphoria, my Christian faith, many associated concerns, and my weekly memoir items. It really is a pie with all the toppings!

Facebook no longer contains any of these things, before late June. I encourage you, especially the many folks who are new to me, to scan the titles on the blog for items which might be of interest.

Blogs are hard to start—at least, mine was. Facebook provides family and friends in quick fashion; blogs, not so much. For weeks, a typical day saw the blog receiving three to six visitors, with a dozen or two pages viewed. When my daughter wrote her exquisite essay, the blog spiked at 67 visitors and 306 views. Last week, after the publication of my magazine article, it jumped again and has been remaining higher.

On Monday, the blog had over one hundred visitors for the first time. The best day saw 741 page views. Eilers Pizza has gone from paltry, to modest, to fairly respectable—or, if you will, from pizza rolls, to a frozen Tombstone, to a pizza place pie.

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Q: Do you know about Walt Heyer, who was a man, transitioned to female, realized it was a mistake, and de-transitioned?

A: I mentioned Walt Heyer in Monday’s post. Over the weeks, several folks have brought him to my attention. I first read his blog several years ago.

Walt Heyer transitioned from male to female, lived as a female for several years, then resumed living as a male about fifteen years ago. I believe he is in his early seventies. He says that he had been incorrectly diagnosed as transgender, when he actually had dissociative identity disorder, and he also credits a renewal of Christina faith for being able to live as a male.

I am pleased for him. I am pleased for another man, who goes by his blog name, “Thirdwaytrans,” who also detransitioned. I long for what they found.

Sadly, I find Mr. Heyer not to be a credible source for information on gender dysphoria and transgender. I see facts distorted, unfair and inaccurate comments. My impression is that his agenda against trans shades his views. I pray that I am not unfairly coloring him; this is my impression based on much reading.

Thirdwaytrans impresses me. He is astute and well-reasoned. He does not say that no one should transition, but also seeks to more deeply diagnose folks to determine if they can abide in their birth sex. I have learned much from him. Sadly, I have not been able to apply anything to myself in such a way that I have found what he found, but I keep reading, and I continue to take good ideas to my therapist.

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Q: Why don’t you start your own church?

A: I have received this question many times. It usually comes when I speak of the possibility of my transitioning, which would mean that I would have ro resign from the clergy of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS), because the LCMS has a male-only ministry. Further, if I were to transition, it is possible that Julie and I will not be able to find a LCMS congregation to accept us, so we might have to go to another Lutheran denomination, or leave Lutheranism altogether. (I do not want to leave the LCMS and the best doctrine on earth.)

I believe in a male-only ministry. The LCMS has it right regarding the Word of God, that the Lord calls only for men to serve in the ministry of Word and Sacrament. For me to depart from this would be the first doctrine I would sacrifice. Of course, if we wind up outside the LCMS, other doctrines will have to either be compromised or sacrifice—yet another of the items with which I battle because this is of the utmost importance to me.

I also believe that individuals do not start churches, but groups of Christians do. While Scripture provides no exact plan for the founding or governing of congregations, it, along with church history, is our teacher. When a single person founds a congregation, the church is prone to being formed in that person’s image, with the person prone to being boss and CEO, rather than pastor (which means “shepherd”) and minister (which means “servant”).

Regardless of how I proceed with my gender dysphoria, I will use my life to proclaim the goodness of the Father, through the gift of the Son, Jesus Christ, by the work of the Holy Spirit. As much as I loved parish ministry, my greatest joy is to proclaim and teach God’s Word, and that joy remains.

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Q: You have said that you are on HRT. Aren’t the effects irreversible?

A: Yes, I am on HRT—hormone replacement therapy. Some effects are irreversible, both for males taking estrogen and females taking testosterone. So far, I have no effects that are either so visible they are a concern or any that are irreversible.

HRT puts a person into what is sometimes called a second puberty. One example of the puberty-effect is the emotional stage, where every wrong thing is a disaster, no matter how small. That’s me, right now. I cry so easily over simple things, like when I dropped a bowl and it broke. It is frustrating, then it is funny in the way things like that can be funny.

The main result of HRT is to raise my estrogen and, with two testosterone blockers, to lower my testosterone. That is completely reversible. If I were to stop the medicine, I would gradually return to regular male levels. Other aspects would either remain or gradually decrease. As mentioned, at this point none of them are a concern.

Yes, HRT is for those who are transitioning and, no, I have not decided that I am transitioning, so why am I on it? I am on HRT because it cools down my brain. I am now on my fourth go-around with it. Before I began, and each of the three times I stopped, my inner turmoil was paralyzing. HRT evens out my brain a lot. Since it works slowly, I have time on my side for making decisions. I was pleased to learn that, in his thirties, Bruce Jenner was on HRT for four years, and he continued to live as a male for a long time.

Some folks are troubled that I am on HRT. I wish I did not feel that I need it. For me, it is akin to depression medication, allowing me to have mostly good days and, when I have bad days, to bear them a lot better.


2 thoughts on “Q & A #4

  1. I love that you love the LCMS so much. I struggled with leaving the LCMS for a long time. But I realized that my grandparents were the only thing keeping me there (at that church anyway), and people should not be the reason I go to a church. I have found a large non denom to go to while my friends and I try to build our ministry and plant a church. Ive realized that I really love praise music. I’ve been a closeted Hands Raised in Worship girl most of my life. I finally have been able to come out 🙂
    I miss hymns but not nearly as much as I thought. I miss the liturgy the most.
    The “church” continues to disappoint me, but God never does.
    As I’ve gotten older, I wonder about denominations. Is splitting into sects something God intended?


  2. Well put: “The ‘church’ continues to disappoint me, but God never does.”

    Certainly, God never intended division. God is not behind, or a fan of anything which is less than good and holy. Yet, in His merciful, long-suffering nature, He abides with us. In churches of all sorts – liturgical or not, traditional hymns or praise music, you name it – He faithfully works through His Word.

    Liked by 1 person

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