Scanning pics in my computer, I was noticing what I find to be remarkable changes in me over the past 15 months, from the days of wig-wearing, to making do with my own balding, thinning head of hair, to seeing how much it has grown, along with the subtle changes the hormones are having on my face, and now contemplating plastic surgery next month, which will provide the ultimate change.
All of this is very sobering. I experience profound feelings of loss for Greg. Simply typing that sentence brought big tears. Yet, he now feels like a foreigner to me. When I reminisce or look at his photos, I feel like I am examining the life of another person. I wish I could find a way for you to know what I’ve felt my entire life, the two-person battle, and what I am now undergoing, finally feeling like I am only one person. It is crazy-complicated.
As much as I longed to remain male, transitioning is providing the peace for which I’ve always yearned. I can truly say about this female I now experience, that I feel like I have been her my entire life. I could not have known this would happen and find it utterly remarkable.