Punny business

I keep telling you that I’m more than just a pretty face.  Here’s proof, some of my recent jokes.

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Having worked in a used clock shop, I have first hand experience with second-hand secondhands.

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Facing a budget crisis, the cemetery found it could only afford to employ a skeleton crew.  They sent a host of ghosts out to scare up new business.

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When an Arabic ruler is deposed, it’s a big sheik-up.

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Size matters?

  • When it comes to measuring earthquakes, seiz matters.
  • As for opinions about each year’s best major league pitchers, Cy’s matters.
  • I find myself breathing heavily so often that I keep track of them.  I have a file titled “Sighs Matters.”

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How I read the president’s tweets: Trumped up charges.

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When I see a convoluted string of consonants and vowels, I don’t see a typo. I assume the writer is mentioning a town in Iceland.

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When fishing in the Everglades, before me arose a large, unusual animal. I hollered, “Are you related to the elusive monster in Scotland?” To my surprise, it replied, “No, I’m not, but we bear a similar lochness.”

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Police raided the studio of the famous artist, who was suspected of plotting history’s largest art heist. They were foiled in their attempt to arrest the painter. Why? Details of his plan were sketchy.

You will have to draw your own conclusions.

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I signed up for a weekend seminar on how to get ahead in life. It’s a retreat on how to advance.

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I have a gnawing desire to study cannibalism. It’s eating away at me.

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At the time I retired, did I become unemployed? Absolutely not!

  • When I do my daily jogging, I am runemployed.
  • Every time I participate in having a good time, I am funemployed.
  • And with each wordplay I compose, I am punemployed!
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2 thoughts on “Punny business

  1. stick to modeling, perhaps. you actually photo quite well.

    no im not being sincerely mean, the second-hand second hands one im totally going to use. first-hand experience, thats nice. and you do photo well– as you know, but it cant hurt to say it again.

    Like

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