I would have tried to use my Kroger Plus card, but, silly me, I was at A & P!

I tried to buy groceries this morning without my photo I.D.

Cashier: “Sir, if you don’t have a picture I.D., we accept your NRA membership card.”

Me: “Being a traditional Christian who is politically conservative, you’d think I would have one of those.  I don’t suppose you’d take my AARP card as proof?”  As he sputtered a NO at me, the look on his face said, “What?  That Commy, socialist organization?”

Getting nowhere, I took my cart to replace what I had grabbed.  As I was putting my items back on the shelves, ICE descended upon me and whisked me to a detention center. For two hours, I was held with other local troublemakers.  Among them were these three:

  • A guy in a wheelchair, who was observed not standing for the national anthem at a high school football game.
  • Sitting against the wall was a woman who was overheard telling a friend that she refused the gun that was being given to all back-to-school shoppers.
  • Next to her was a fellow who accidently found himself in a women’s restroom because he was texting while walking.

Apparently, I was appropriately remorseful, as ICE informed me that I was being released, but not first without receiving their stern warning.  Whew, I sure am glad that I didn’t let it slip that I voted for a third party candidate in the 2016 presidential election!

What’s next, Americans? Will political satire be outlawed?

After all, didn’t I just post fake news?

12 thoughts on “I.D.clare!

  1. So I grew up in the south (Kentucky) with Krogers and A&P stores. But A&P disappeared from my small town years ago – I had no idea they still existed. Haven’t seen Krogers anywhere else except North Carolina, but obviously it’s a flourishing grocery chain.


    1. Hi, Kathy. Actually, A & P is out of business. I just checked, and it seems they have been completely gone for three years.

      As I was writing this piece, I initially used the name of a grocery store chain which exists. I changed it to A & P in order to use one not in existence since I was writing fiction. I feared that if I used a real store name it could plant negative thoughts regarding that store, which would be unfair to that company.


      1. With opinions like that, you should join the Society for the Preservation of Wooden Outhouses, commonly known as the Birch John Society. If you find that you have to terminate your Port-a-Potty contract, do you send a Dear John letter?


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