I tried to buy groceries this morning without my photo I.D.
Cashier: “Sir, if you don’t have a picture I.D., we accept your NRA membership card.”
Me: “Being a traditional Christian who is politically conservative, you’d think I would have one of those. I don’t suppose you’d take my AARP card as proof?” As he sputtered a NO at me, the look on his face said, “What? That Commy, socialist organization?”
Getting nowhere, I took my cart to replace what I had grabbed. As I was putting my items back on the shelves, ICE descended upon me and whisked me to a detention center. For two hours, I was held with other local troublemakers. Among them were these three:
- A guy in a wheelchair, who was observed not standing for the national anthem at a high school football game.
- Sitting against the wall was a woman who was overheard telling a friend that she refused the gun that was being given to all back-to-school shoppers.
- Next to her was a fellow who accidently found himself in a women’s restroom because he was texting while walking.
Apparently, I was appropriately remorseful, as ICE informed me that I was being released, but not first without receiving their stern warning. Whew, I sure am glad that I didn’t let it slip that I voted for a third party candidate in the 2016 presidential election!
What’s next, Americans? Will political satire be outlawed?
After all, didn’t I just post fake news?