Worry not, my friends. I have not been deterred by the groans which ring out from all who react to my puns and wacky observations. I continue to allow my fractured thoughts to leave my brain and enter my computer. Here’s what’s been accumulating like so many flakes of winter snow.
I hollered, “Watch out! That arrow is headed straight for the side of your head!” Both my warning and the arrow went through one ear and out the other.
When the grocery store is packed with shoppers, I dream of being castaway on a desert aisle.
Did you hear about the two orchestra conductors who fought over a piece of music? They had a score to settle.
The young man just passed the bar exam. He was reviewing job offers. A friend asked whether he’d made his choice. He replied, “I’ve narrowed it down, but I have yet to make a firm decision.”
My dentist told me that I wouldn’t have to see him so often if I improved how I clean my teeth. It felt like he was giving me the brush off.
All of my macaroni has been kidnapped! It is being held pastage!
A lot of things are better the second day. Spaghetti. Chili. But do you know what’s not better the second day? A dead raccoon.
A window section, which has fallen and broken, is a pane to clean up.
When I cook supper, and its time to eat, I holler to the family, “Come and regret it!” (I really do say this. And when I forget to do so, my grandson reminds me.)
If I could be paid $2,000 for each of my corny jokes, I could make a pun of money!