I would have tried to use my Kroger Plus card, but, silly me, I was at A & P!

I tried to buy groceries this morning without my photo I.D.

Cashier: “Sir, if you don’t have a picture I.D., we accept your NRA membership card.”

Me: “Being a traditional Christian who is politically conservative, you’d think I would have one of those.  I don’t suppose you’d take my AARP card as proof?”  As he sputtered a NO at me, the look on his face said, “What?  That Commy, socialist organization?”

Getting nowhere, I took my cart to replace what I had grabbed.  As I was putting my items back on the shelves, ICE descended upon me and whisked me to a detention center. For two hours, I was held with other local troublemakers.  Among them were these three:

  • A guy in a wheelchair, who was observed not standing for the national anthem at a high school football game.
  • Sitting against the wall was a woman who was overheard telling a friend that she refused the gun that was being given to all back-to-school shoppers.
  • Next to her was a fellow who accidently found himself in a women’s restroom because he was texting while walking.

Apparently, I was appropriately remorseful, as ICE informed me that I was being released, but not first without receiving their stern warning.  Whew, I sure am glad that I didn’t let it slip that I voted for a third party candidate in the 2016 presidential election!

What’s next, Americans? Will political satire be outlawed?

After all, didn’t I just post fake news?