I’m in my 43rd year of jogging. I’ve seen some weird things and had some unusual experiences. On March 2, I had not one, not two, but three that I’d never had before.
Before getting to those, none of them were these, which I’ve experienced:
- The car accident I witnessed last year, or the two others I heard as they occurred (all in Indianapolis).
- The ambulance that was coming up behind me, which I didn’t know was an ambulance until, just as it reached me, turned on its siren—which nearly jarred me off my feet and into the ditch.
- While jogging in the country, the deer that had been dozing in a ditch. I didn’t see her. She heard me. Alarmed, she jumped up, which nearly jarred me off my feet and into the ditch.
- On the same road, but another time, the pheasant or partridge that was in a small tree next to the road. Alarmed, it took off. The drumming sound of the wings surprised me so that I was nearly jarred . . . you know the rest.
- Finally, the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I was returning on the road on which I’d started. There had been no roadkill when I began my run, but as I returned I saw something up ahead. As I neared, I could tell it was a possum. But, it was moving. Or, rather, something was moving. When I got up to it, I saw she had been pregnant. There lay a couple of dead joeys—the name for baby possums and a great Scrabble word—while a live one was wobbling about as another was working its way out of mama’s womb.
Onto March 2.
1. A bird pooped on me
It wasn’t the first time a bird pooped on me—I think it happened twice before. But it was the first time I saw the poop coming
I saw the bird flying near, maybe fifteen feet above me. By the time I saw the poop descending, it was too late. I noticed it about four feet before it hit my sleeve. Since objects fall at 32 feet per second, that means I had 1/8th of a second to react.
Or not react, as it were, until after it hit.
After I took the photo, I rolled my sleeves up so that I wouldn’t wipe my sweating face on it.
2. A lady trying to give away her dog
I have a lot of encounters with dogs—I wear an air horn for those that run into the street after me, which I use five to ten times a year—but I’ve never encountered an owner trying to pawn one off.
The woman in the black SUV slowed down as she approached me. She rolled down her window.
Woman: “Would you like a huskie?”
Me: shakes head, trying not to break stride.
Woman: “He’s real nice.”
Me, waving hand, “No, thank you.”
3. Have you seen a woman in pajamas?
On the same road, maybe two minutes later, a black SUV turned around in a driveway just ahead of me, then pulled up near me. I thought it was the dog lady, and feared she was going to pester me. It wasn’t. It was a younger woman and a young girl. I paused my running app.
Woman: “Have you seen a woman in pajamas?
Me: “I sure did.” (It was a warm morning, so I didn’t think anything of it. I see women in pajamas and house coats in the residential areas.)
Woman: “Do you remember where?”
Me: “Gosh, I’ve been all over this neighborhood…”
Woman, nodding: “I know you have.”
Me: “Are they blue pajamas?”
Woman: “Blue or maybe black, with large flowers all over.”
Me: “Yes! I didn’t look real long. When I see folks in pajamas I don’t like to appear to be staring.”
Woman: “Do you remember where you saw her?”
Me, motioning my arm toward the side streets behind me: “I think she was on one of those up and down streets. But it might have been north of 46th. It’s been a bit since I saw her.”
Woman: “Thank you very much.”
They took off. So did I. I had a bit more than a mile left on my 5.75 for the day.
It was uneventful.
Eilers Pizza 