In a declaration published April 8, 2024, the Roman Catholic Church’s Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith released Dignitas Infinita. It is a sweeping document, covering areas of human dignity from poverty to war, from the travail of migrants to human trafficking, to more.
Much in it is to be considered seriously and to be praised. My focus is on one area, which, because it is too narrowly focused, is not to be praised. In two fairly brief sections, the document takes up gender theory and sex change. Here is its presentation regarding gender theory:
My argument is not with what they have written regarding gender theory. Indeed, in their examination of what I would call secular, radical gender theory, I am in agreement. My concern is that they might be lumping into one group all persons declaring that they experience gender dysphoria.
In the next section, Sex Change, they only allow as valid those with obvious corruption to their genitals. Thus, everyone else experiencing conflict between their sex and gender, their body and mind, would be placed … where? They’ve provided no space for we Christians who reject secular, radical gender theory, yet have experienced the real, physical disorder that is gender dysphoria.
What this document contains regarding gender theory—and what it omits—is reminiscent of my church body’s (the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod) writings on the topic. Thus, with the set-up of secular, radical gender theory, the rest is bad news for all Christians suffering gender dysphoria.
Here is the report’s section on sex change:
I am in agreement with the first portion of this, until here: “At the same time, we are called to protect our humanity, and this means, in the first place, accepting it and respecting it as it was created.” Before examining this, I jump to the penultimate sentence: “This is not to exclude the possibility that a person with genital abnormalities that are already evident at birth or that develop later may choose to receive the assistance of healthcare professionals to resolve these abnormalities.”
Taking this sentence first, many of the thirty-one known disorders of sex development would not qualify as valid should a person decide to transition to living in the sex “opposite” of how they were identified at birth. Two examples suffice:
Swyer syndrome. At birth, the baby appears female. Outward genitals correspond. At puberty, they do not menstruate. When examined, they are found to be lacking some internal female reproductive organs. When a chromosome test is performed, they are found to have male, XY sex chromosomes.
Klinefelter syndrome. At birth, the baby appears fully male, with outward male genitals. As they go through puberty, they will have low or no sperm count, small testicles and penis, less body hair, and larger breasts for a male. A chromosome test finds the reason: they have an extra X sex chromosome. Thus, they are XXY, making them as chromosomally female as they are male.
Because neither of these disorders of sex development affect one’s outward genitals, should individuals with Swyer syndrome or Klinefelter syndrome not experience themselves as the female or male as they were identified at birth, and transition to live as the “opposite” sex, be accused of going against the created order of male and female? Would they be accused of sinning?
For them, there is no “opposite” sex. They possess attributes of both sexes. Though their outward genitals match how they were identified at birth, shall we not give them the benefit of how they experience themselves should their experience not match their outward genitals?
I return to the first sentence quoted: “At the same time, we are called to protect our humanity, and this means, in the first place, accepting it and respecting it as it was created.” As it was created. I again note that there are thirty-one known disorders of sex development, many, such as Swyer’s and Klinefelter’s, in which the genitals are not generally affected.
What of other conditions, which could include any number of them that have not yet been diagnosed? My own situation fits here. Before going on cross-sex hormones, the easy call would be that my gender dysphoria was “all in my head.” I either experienced a human failing, or a psychological trauma, or a spiritual failing, or a combination of these.
Though I had no testable, measurable disorder, when altering my sex hormones, so that my testosterone and estrogen now match those of a female my age, my gender dysphoria resolved. My hormone levels match those of a woman, yet I experience myself as fully male.
Why might this have occurred? I suspect my mother took diethylstilbesterol (DST), which is an artificial estrogen, when pregnant with me, because she was prone to miscarriage. DST now is a known endocrine-system disruptor. If my mother ingested this estrogen when pregnant with me, it would explain my hormone imbalance.
Even if she hadn’t taken DST, when pregnant with me my mother experienced extreme stress. With me arriving soon—my parents’ fourth child in five years—my folks had to decide to sign over to the state my oldest sibling, Jim, because he was profoundly handicapped. We now know that the stress hormone, cortisol, can adversely affect a fetus.
Thus, I, as a developing baby, could have been affected by one or two hormones. That I didn’t properly develop is seen in my lacking an Adam’s apple, lighter body hair, extremely late puberty, and that I’ve always been more emotional that a typical male. And, I’m left handed, which also could be a sign.
When my hormones were checked in 2013 (I was 56), and my levels were in line with those of a male my age, I felt female. Undergoing hormone therapy, I was accused of sinning because I was seen as rejecting that I was a male. Yet, had I not gone on hormones, I have no vision for my gender dysphoria doing anything else but continuing to torture me: I was suicidal, and thought I was going insane.
I didn’t transition because I fell for secular, radical gender theory. I remained true to the biblical faith I professed on the day of my ordination into the holy ministry of Jesus Christ.
There are many Christians just like me who don’t fall for the radical gender-theory nonsense that’s out there, who experience debilitating gender dysphoria, who are seeking relief from this vexing condition. They don’t want to sin; they long to be healthy. Should they transition, they are not rebelling against the Lord; they are seeking the same good health that all ill people strive to regain.
My Lutheran church body, Roman Catholicism, and many other Christian organizations need to be doing a far better job understanding gender dysphoria and what it means for those Christians who identify as transgender. So far, they are doing us, our families, and our congregations, a disservice.
Fifteen days after Julie and I presented “Transgender Christian: An Oxymoron?”, this article (photo) appeared in the April 2024 issue of The Lutheran Witness. As has occurred with every article LW has published on this topic, I am in agreement with the theology, yet find the information regarding gender dysphoria and transgender to be
lacking;
largely informed by ungodly transgender ideology, rather than by we Christians who also find that ideology to be nonsense;
setting up strawmen that can be easily knocked down;
as if the author has never spoken with anyone such as myself;
and doing more harm than good for those who suffer this debilitating disorder, along with their families who long to understand what they are experiencing and why.
The article contains nineteen paragraphs. The author begins, “The world is filled with voices luring us down uncertain roads,” with some “voices that speak folly.” Agreed!
Paragraphs 2-3. The author quotes Romans. First, 1:25 regarding those who have exchanged God’s truth for lies, then 2:14-16 regarding creation and natural law.
Paragraph 4. Quoting Genesis 3:4, he discusses the temptation and fall of Adam & Eve.
Paragraph 5. He discusses some of the effects of the sinful nature all people have inherited from Adam & Eve, now homing in on the articles’ topic. Two thoughts are key, so I examine them:
“Folly says that there are many genders beyond male and female and multiple ways you can express your sexuality.” Yes, some assert this. I do not. Nor do the Christians I’ve gotten to know who suffer gender dysphoria, with some of them transitioning. We know there are two genders, and that what we experience is a physical malady due to the fallen and fractured nature we received because of Original Sin.
“In addition, folly has determined that some people have been born into the wrong body. The ‘spirit’ of a man can accidentally be placed into a female body, or the ‘spirit’ of a woman can accidentally be placed into a male body.” Yes, some people believe they were born into the wrong body. I do not. Nor do the Christians to which I refer in the previous point. We also do not believe the wrong spirit was placed in us, or in anyone. Rather, we believe that during our formation in the womb our maleness/femaleness was disordered so that we experience gender dysphoria. We believe our condition lines up with other congenital disorders, such as Down syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, and spina bifida: something went wrong during our development and we are experiencing the consequences.
Paragraphs 6-7. The author quotes Genesis chapter one regarding God’s creating all things and declared His creation to be very good. “Even after the fall,” the author writes, “it has purpose and order.” While I agree, I find he ignores the dis-order of the fallen creation, and that this dis-order visits us in the myriad of disorders that can form in us in the womb and come to us throughout our lives.
Paragraphs 8-9. He now cites that God’s good design for Adam and Eve was that he was male and she was female, then, “The spirit of a man cannot be born in a woman, nor the sprit of a woman in a man. Such thinking denies that God is our Creator and that His ways are perfect.”
Yes, God’s ways are perfect. However, Adam’s way was not perfect, and we pay for it in every form of dis-order. No, we don’t inherit the spirit of the opposite sex, but there are numerous disorders of sex development of which I will speak more in the tenth paragraph.
In the ninth paragraph, he writes, “Yet transgender activists assert that the body is only a shell animated by the spirit within.” I am not a transgender activist. I do not assert that the body is only a shell. Has the author ever spoken with a Christian, such as myself, who does not buy into the beliefs of non-Christian trans persons?
Paragraph 10. Citing Psalm 139:13-14, the author writes, “You were not arbitrarily or mistakenly ‘assigned’ a sex at birth.” He then acknowledges intersex conditions (disorders of sex development) as captured here:
There are thirty-one known disorders of sex development (intersex). There could be others not yet diagnosed or found to be measurable, such as my hormone condition that became evident when I began cross-sex hormones.
Since the introduction of chemicals, plasticizers, and pharmaceuticals, we have an array of genetic and hormonal disorders. I suspect this is why we now have far more gender dysphoria.
Yes, as the author wrote, God knit us together by His loving hands, but humans work with infected yarn.
In how he moves on from his acknowledgment of intersex conditions, I find the author dismissing these disorders that tear at God’s creating us male and female. Has he not asked the question regarding those experiencing gender dysphoria: Might they have a disorder of sex development? He doesn’t do so here, but moves on to the next paragraph.
Paragraph 11. Three key thoughts of the author’s:
“God did not design men and women to be interchangeable.” Agreed.
“A man might … take estrogen and have various surgeries … but he is still a man.” Agreed.
“Instead of lamenting the differences between men and women, we should celebrate them.” This requires more than a one-word reply.
This is unfair to the person experiencing gender dysphoria, which is not a case of a person’s lamenting the differences between the sexes. They are fighting a disorder that doesn’t allow them to be able to celebrate being a male or a female, because they experience aspects of both, or experience the one that does not match how they were identified at birth.
At my lowest point, when I was striving not to transition, the two-person struggle in me was so severe that I told Julie, “I don’t care which one I am, Greg or Gina. I just need to be one person.”
Paragraph 12. Discussing marriage, the author conflates transgender with homosexuality.
Paragraph 13. Citing that God created marriage for one man and one woman, he further confuses same-sex relations and transgender, then writes, “Instead, folly calls gender a mere ‘cultural construct’ and promotes gender identity over biological realty.”
I do not call gender a mere “cultural construct.” I also do not promote gender identity over biological reality. Neither do the transgender Christians I know. Has the author ever spoken with any of us?
Indeed, when I lived as a transgender woman I continued to identity as a biological male who was heterosexual, who was transgender because of a physical malady, and I made it known on social media, my blog, and in my autobiography.
Paragraph 14. He quotes Romans 13:14: “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provisions for the flesh to gratify its desires.”
Christians suffering gender dysphoria do not “take off” the Lord Jesus Christ, and they no more seek to gratify desires than does a person with a cancerous tumor, a broken leg, or clinical depression. They are seeking healing.
Paragraph 15-19. Citing numerous scriptures, the author exhorts all Christians in their baptismal identity and, where necessary, to repent so that their sins may be forgiven.
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In our presentation, Julie and I cited five articles from LW in which transgender has been unfairly characterized, and nowhere to be found were the stories of faithful Christians who do not align with the ideologies cited in the stories. If I get more opportunities to speak, I will be adding this article.
To summarize, I find the author to have cited only those ideas from the transgender ledger that he can knock down. I also disagree with the ideas he cited.
Secondly, I find him accusing transgender Christians of sins that they—at least among those persons I know—are not committing.
Thirdly, I wonder if he’s ever spoken with Christians whose attitudes are such as mine, because there is not a word in these pages to reflect it.
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There is a sidebar to the article, with five points. Point 4 calls us to prayer: “Some problems are simply beyond our power to fix. … When we are tempted to despair, we can turn to God in prayer and cast all our anxieties on Him (1 Peter 5:7). Our God hears us and will answer.”
I am a man of prayer, from the moment I awaken each day, to the first thing I do when I close my eyes at night, to numerous times throughout the day. When I suffered gender dysphoria, I did as Christ taught me in Matthew 5:7-8: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
I believe my Lord Jesus.
I asked. I sought. I knocked.
I kicked. I begged. I screamed.
I trusted. I trusted. I trusted.
For decades.
The Lord never said, “Yes,” to my prayer for healing. Um, wait. He did. But not in the way I requested.
As I went through every step of transition, seeking the Lord’s will as to whether I should proceed, I possessed confidence that I was to do so. It was only after completing my transition that I received the healing I’ve now enjoyed for six years.
I’ve never asserted that this was the Lord’s plan for me. I can’t read His mind, and He’s not called me to a mountaintop to chat directly with me.
But it sure seems it was His plan. I have no other way to understand it than that I needed to go through all of this so that I could speak up for those who do not have a voice. I was a pastor, and I was transgender, and I am able to write and to speak, and I never wavered in the doctrine to which I swore on the day of my ordination.
It sure seems this is what the Lord wants from me, to speak the truth of His Word and the truth about gender dysphoria.
As I begin to write this, it is 6:40 a.m. on Holy Saturday, March 30 2024. Yesterday, we marked the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Tomorrow, we will rejoice that He was resurrected from the dead. Today, we trust that His resurrection proved that He defeated death, devil, and damnation so that we can possess forgiveness, life, and salvation.
But, the today of the Lord Jesus’ disciples—the day after their Rabbi had been put to death—the day after the unthinkable was carried out against the one they thought was the Messiah, the one God sent into the world not to condemn the world but to save the world through Him (John 3:17, my favorite verse)—I am trying to imagine the level of anxiety they experienced.
I realize that I can’t.
Yet, I know my own.
And it’s plenty.
Two weeks ago today, Julie and I arose to the expectation of our second day of presentations at our first seminar—“Transgender Christian: An Oxymoron?”—with high hopes because my initial talk Friday evening was well received. Then, Saturday’s three sessions went equally well.
The event was videotaped. On Sunday, I received the six-hour, thirty-nine-minute file. The next few days, I watched and clipped and created five videos, posting them to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@porthopepizza/videos.
As of this morning, those five videos have been viewed 900 times. I am grateful.
Next week, I will begin to contact people—mostly pastors—lobbying for them to host me in their churches. This is what has me reflecting about the anxiety of the Lord’s disciples.
Though the Lord had told them what was coming—that he would be raised on the third day—their hearts had been darkened to that news. His crucifixion had blinded them. Their despondency and disappointment was engulfed in despair.
All they knew was that their hero was dead. Oh, and they might be next.
I can’t begin to imagination the roiling of their stomachs that Saturday.
But I know mine these past two weeks. I share in a high level of anxiety, because I don’t know what is coming. I have no idea whether I will make the inroads I crave in educating my fellow Christians in the truth of what it means to be transgender.
And this. The disciples put all their eggs in the basket of following Jesus. They needed it to be true, that He was the Promised One.
On this point, I find myself able to better identify with them.
They didn’t ask to follow Jesus, He chose them; I didn’t ask to experience gender dysphoria, it chose me.
They dropped everything and went with Jesus; I gave up the work I loved as a minister and took the path of transitioning.
They didn’t know where Jesus was leading them; I didn’t know where transitioning would lead me.
They trusted Jesus; I trusted Jesus.
On Holy Saturday, they didn’t know what was next; this Holy Saturday, I don’t know what’s next.
After their Rabbi was resurrected and ascended to heaven, the disciples’ eyes were opened to everything He taught them, to putting together the prophets’ predictions, so that they could go forth to proclaim the good news about Jesus Christ.
Will I enjoy such a resurrection? Is it the Lord’s will that I will have a path to go forth proclaiming everything I’ve experienced and learned about being a transgender Christian?
I so need it to be.
He knows how desperate I am for it to be.
In my Friday presentation fifteen days ago, I quoted Romans 8:28—“God works all things for good in the lives of those who love Him, whom He has called according to His purpose”—and stated that through the greatest trials of my life—the death of my son, the loss of my marriage, and the gender dysphoria that sought to crush me—the Lord fulfilled His promise.
He has worked all things in my life for good.
He has brought me through every trial, so that I believe He is fulfilling His purpose for my life.
Is it His purpose now that I have opportunities to proclaim the good news about Him and what I’ve learned about gender dysphoria and being transgender?
I don’t have the answer.
And if this doesn’t pan out … deep breath … then what was all this for?
And if this doesn’t pan out … deep breath … would it mean that I’ve been wrong?
And if this doesn’t pan out … deep breath … what do I do next?
This has to be about far more than the healing I experienced in 2018, and how good I’ve felt, fully male, the past six years. It has to be, otherwise why did He lead me into the ministry and remove me so dramatically?
It has to be, right? Is there any other way for me to view this?
I’m not ready to retire, to do nothing more than garden and jog and cook and write and travel. I’m full of energy and passion and longing to good things with the rest of my life.
I need my basket to be filled with Easter eggs.
I continue to pray, Show me your good and gracious will, Lord Jesus, and give me your Holy Spirit that I might follow it.
I know that my Redeemer lives, but I don’t know what He wills for the rest of my earthly days.
On March 15-16 2024, at the invitation of Pastor Mark Buetow, my wife Julie and I presented a seminar titled, “Transgender Christian: An Oxymoron?”, at Zion Lutheran Church, of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS), in McHenry, Illinois.
In the way that I was the first pastor in the LCMS to announce that he suffered from gender dysphoria, and then after leaving the ministry to have transitioned to living as a female, Pastor Buetow is the first LCMS pastor to invite me to speak to his congregation about the ticklish topic of transgender.
Why did he do it? “Because,” he said, “it’s affecting members of my congregation.” And, in my remarks, I said my reason for wanting to speak was because “few in the Missouri Synod know what to do with it in a Christlike manner.”
There were a few in Pastor Buetow’s congregation who questioned hosting this event. Some of those attended. I spoke with two of them. They told me their minds were changed. Why? Because, previously, they knew little about this.
Pastor Buetow’s congregation is on the small side. For its size, I was surprised by how many students are in their preschool-through-third-grade school. In all Julie and I witnessed, Zion is a vibrant place, a spirit that begins with its minister.
Because the congregation is smaller, we knew it would show in attendance for our presentation. The most we had in church at one time was around forty. Overall, more than fifty different people attended sessions, several from McHenry’s sister LCMS congregation.
Julie and I were grateful for each one. All paid close attention. Many spoke with us during breaks. They gave us the feedback we hoped to receive: they were edified regarding transgender and strengthened in their faith in the Lord.
The faith part of our message focused on the universal gift of Christ: “For God so loved the WORLD.” Thus, no matter who we are talking about, Jesus died on the cross for them. This needs to inform how we think about those who are different from us, whose lives we don’t understand, even when we take offense at them.
When Julie and I spoke with Pastor Buetow after the event, his take on the entirety of it pleased me. He said that we began and ended on Jesus Christ.
Amen, Pastor. We sure did.
Then, in my first Facebook post regarding the event, he wrote, “You and Julie gave a fantastic, informative, polished, and most of all Christ-centered presentation. One of the key takeaways should be obvious to any Christian, but we need to be reminded often: every person is one for whom Jesus died. Remembering that will help us go a long way to loving our neighbor. The science was extremely helpful. Even more so was the reminder that all aspects of creation have been wrecked by the fall, gender having no exemption. Thanks again for coming here and teaching us a thing or two!”
To that, I proclaim, Hallelujah!
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Following each video is the rundown of that video’s topics. On YouTube, click on the time notations to go directly to the topic.
0:00: An overview of how I got here – Lutheran and transgender. 26:00: Getting into transgender. Swyer syndrome – females who are XY male – which bathroom? 38:17: Disorders of sex development. Other disorders for which we don’t know their cause. 54:05: Christian faith: objective and subjective justification. 59:48: “This is one for whom Christ also died.” 1:04:30: Harmful substances that might be causing gender dysphoria. 1:18:10: Signs that I have androgen insensitivity. 1:21:44: In 2013, my gender dysphoria erupts. Julie finds the report that changed my life. 1:24:43: More on what causes gender dysphoria. Introducing the problem of suicide. 1:32:29: “Outcast” – a reading from “A Roller Coaster through a Hurricane.” 1:36:54: Suicide; Leelah Alcorn. I don’t want anyone to have to transition. 1:42:47: Trans Christians I’ve gotten to know. 1:44:48: My hormone shift and my feeling of being exclusively male. 1:48:02: The turmoil I experienced. 1:50:05: The effects of Original Sin. Let’s be Romans 5 people.
0:00: I introduce Julie 3:00: Julie: “I am a cisgender person.” Transgender: the mismatch of parts. 8:00: Greg & Julie. Julie’s attitude toward me. 9:27: Greg’s frustration mounts, finally tells Julie how he’s suffering. Julie fears suicide. 16:02: Julie makes a pro/con list regarding my transitioning. 17:01: How we met. 19:19: Our first conversation: a proposal of marriage! 20:48: 2013: what Julie wanted for me. Our marriage would be fine. 21:58: I fought transitioning. Julie was certain I needed it. She dug in learning. 23:45: Disorders and their effects. 28:00: Sin and its effects on us. 29:07: Types of disorders, and how they affect others. 30:07: Fetal development. Disorders of sex development. 34:44: DES. Adverse effects on me. 38:39: “If only I could spend one day in Greg’s brain.” 39:18: What to do about her husband’s brain/body mismatch? 41:24: Telling others: the internal struggle goes external. 42:13: What others experience by learning a loved one is trans. 44:14: The trans person’s outside world crumbles. 45:06: Trans persons are accused of being selfish and sinning. 45:28: All are affected with a sinful nature. 47:17: Yet, some insist gender was left untouched by sin. 48:10: “Who chooses internal torment?” 49:45: “Gender issues give people the willies.” “Put it in a box.” 51:14: “Praise God, Jesus didn’t shy away from the discomfort of His broken creation, and took that discomfort all the way to the cross.” 52:51: We address Julie’s con list. 101:50: Pastor Buetow makes a terrible joke! Then shares an important thought.
0:00: Opening thoughts. 7:42: Genesis 1:27 – God created us male and female. 15:27: Deuteronomy 22:5 – On the wearing of clothes. 28:27: 1 Corinthians 6:18 – Sexual immorality. 33:44: Bear your cross after Christ. 38:05: Q & A – In my deepest moments of despair, where did I see Christ? 42:50: Fallout from my going public. 50:11: Q & A – How do I minister to other trans persons? 55:33: Q & A – Regarding self harming. 1:03:31: Q & A – The masculinizing/feminizing of the brain in the womb. 1:06:34: Q & A – Why more transwomen than transmen? 1:10:35: Q & A – Is there a physical reason for gender dysphoria? 1:13:28: Q & A – Names and pronouns.
0:00: Opening remarks. 1:41: Julie discusses bathroom legislation. 7:20: Transgender and sports. 9:45: Julie presents healthcare and trans youth. 20:17: Social media – memes that send wrong messages. 26:03: Introducing writings from the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. 29:57: CTCR report on gender dysphoria. 36:17: “A man or a woman?” from the journal of the seminary I attended. 56:05: I answer the question: What if it is a sin to transition? 58:20: Introduction to the magazine, The Lutheran Witness (LW). 58:57: Julie discusses LW article, “Viva la difference!” 1:02:38: LCMS President Harrison’s placing of gender identity with sexual identity. 1:05:38: LW article, “Male & female He created them.” 1:08:30: LW article, “The resurrection body: Jesus’ answer to transgenderism.” 1:14:00: LW article, Julie discusses “God’s truth vs. man’s opinions.” 1:17:24: Q & A – Has the LCMS become hardhearted? 1:19:19: Q & A – Is it time for our seminaries to teach re transgender? 1:22:05: Q & A – Re: transgender being forced down our throats. 1:28:55: Q & A – Do you find yourself caught between two communities? 1:32:52: Q & A – Do you thinking transitioning can show a lack of faith in God’s ability to heal you? 1:36:05: Q & A – How can we glorify God with our thorns? 1:37:34: Q & A – Isn’t unlikely most people don’t suffer real gender dysphoria?
This video is not broken into topics.
Throughout the seminar, we quoted from my two books on the topic. You may purchase them here, both available in ebook and paperback.
February 2024 marks eight years since my article was published in Indianapolis Monthly magazine. The article was prompted by my daughter’s friend, whose husband was senior editor for the magazine.
It was October 2016. In January 2017, the Indiana legislature would be considering a law regarding transgender rights. The magazine had never published an article on transgender, so they bit on my proposal.
Between my writing and their editing we had a month. I pounded out the first draft in a week, then for three weeks traded emails and updates until we had it.
In January, the magazine sent me for professional hair and makeup, then onto a photographer. That day was a blast! Yet, I had one concern as I thought, I sure hope they don’t do a full-page photo of me. No one deserves to flip a page only to be greeted by the likes of me!
As you see, above, that’s exactly what readers encountered. Oops!
Though I ceased being transgender in 2018, what I wrote holds.
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But I like playing in the house with these girls, I thought as my grandmother urged me to go outside and roughhouse with my male cousins. I was a 9-year-old named Greg, and it was the first time I realized I might be a little different than the other boys. It’s not that I felt like a girl—I didn’t yet know what that meant. The girls just seemed safer to me somehow. Boys were intimidating and wild.
As a Christian kid growing up in a small Midwestern town in the 1960s, these were strange feelings. Our family’s faith undergirded everything: morals, discipline, punishment. Striving to be a good boy was the only conceivable course of action. As the years went by, however, conforming became harder and harder.
Sixth grade: I finally noticed girls’ bodies—but not in the way I was supposed to. I fantasized about making myself as pretty as they were. I put myself to sleep every night thinking about what it would be like to be a girl.
High school: I grew bolder still, desperately needing a way to ease the feminine longing I had. My sister’s clothes!, I thought, before realizing I would never fit into them. So I waited for an opportunity to get into my mom’s closet undetected. Whatever guilt I felt about wearing her things was tempered by pure elation.
Dating: How could I not tell my girlfriend that I was a transvestite, a word I had just learned on Phil Donahue’s talk show?
Marriage: Maybe love would be the cure. I got married, fathered children, and did everything typical of a regular guy. Not only did it fail to solve the problem, it was like taking aspirin for a brain tumor.
Ministry: Then perhaps theology would eliminate the longings. Immerse yourself in the Bible and crowd from your mind all thoughts of being female, I told myself. That lasted about a week. Even so, I went on to be ordained in the conservative Missouri Synod branch of the Lutheran Church, serving parishes in Iowa and Michigan for 18 years.
Retirement: No longer able to hide who I was, I confronted parish officials with the news. Since there was no room for a transgender pastor in my church, with its male-only ministry and traditional theology, they suggested I resign if I intended to live openly as a woman. I promised to do my job and remain quiet if I would be allowed to retire gracefully the next year.
Since then, I’ve moved to Indy, where I’m living more fully as myself and have a new mission: telling my story. Maybe if I educate people about my condition, things won’t be as hard on the next generation. But it saddens me that everyone greets me with a blank stare when I approach with a question I’ve devoted my recent life to answering: “What do you know about being transgender?”
Though it may surprise some that gender identity and sexual orientation are unrelated, transgender folks like me often consider themselves heterosexual—in my case, attracted to women, even though I identify as a woman. My wife, Julie, and I met when we both were going through the divorces of our first marriages. Shortly before we wed in 2001, I told her the truth about who I was. She was surprised, but reacted calmly. She knew nothing about being transgender, but recognized it as an inherent part of me and said it wouldn’t alter the way she felt.
I was thankful. According to a survey conducted by The National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, an estimated 45 percent of spouses break things off when confronted with that news, but Julie ultimately became my biggest supporter. Being a very practical person, she created a list of the pros and cons of me coming out as a woman. It had only one pro: I would finally be allowed to live as a whole person. There were a dozen cons: the challenges to our marriage, the impact on my kids with my first wife, being ostracized by friends, discrimination, and so on. Ultimately, that one pro was enough.
When I finally told the rest of my immediate family, my four children and four siblings were initially shocked. Knowing how foreign the revelation had been even to me, I resolved to remain patient with everyone. My children reacted to the news as people react to a sudden, tragic death. They each went through a grieving process that included anger and sadness before accepting me. Again, I was thankful. Many trans parents will have one or more children disown them forever.
Acceptance is a little more common these days, but it hasn’t always been so. The mismatch of gender and sex is recorded as far back as antiquity, with words like “transsexual,” “transvestite,” and now “transgender” tracing their roots to the 20th century. Sex-reassignment surgery (SRS) dates back to the 1920s; Lili Elbe, subject of the popular movie The Danish Girl, received her surgery in Germany, in 1930. In the United States, SRS first surfaced in the 1950s, when a soldier named George Jorgensen returned from Denmark as Christine.
After Jorgensen, transgender people occasionally made the news, often for counterculture reasons and tied with lesbian, gay, and bisexual issues, as in the now well-known LGBT rights movement. The next person to receive widespread attention was Dr. Renee Richards, who transitioned to a woman in the mid-1970s. During the Bicentennial summer that the athlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner was wrapped in Old Glory as the Olympics decathlon champion, Richards created a stir when she announced that she wanted to play professional tennis on the women’s circuit. She was denied the right, filed suit, and won in New York Supreme Court, one of the first steps in a long march of civil-rights issues for LGBT people.
Transgender people consider SRS the “ultimate surgery,” but not all of us go so far. On the transitioning menu—where it’s easy to spend $100,000—personal choice reigns. Some trans individuals simply choose to change their names and dress differently. Others pursue hormone-replacement therapy, permanent hair removal, breast surgery, facial-feminization surgery, and voice training. I began hormone-replacement therapy in September 2013, knowing that it works very slowly for someone in her late 50s such as myself. As my testosterone lowered and my estrogen increased, my skin softened, body hair fell out, fat deposits began to migrate to other spots, and breasts formed.
Later this year, I hope to have my face feminized. The idea of having cosmetic surgery sobers me. I’ve consulted a surgeon. I’ve seen what I could be—my brow and jawbones shaved, nose reduced, chin lifted. But I still wonder: Will I be happy to see a feminine version of the face I’ve known for six decades? And after that, when I pursue SRS, the questions become even more profound. Will I finally feel at peace with my body?
I wish I could report that the transitioning process has always gone smoothly, but it has filled my life with endless visits to specialists. Once a week, I see a kind woman named Barb Clayton in Castleton for an hour of electrolysis on my beard. Because the hundreds of hairs she zaps each session have me wincing in pain, our chats help the hour pass. Barb has become a friendly shoulder on which to cry, a perk given that I am only halfway through the three-year process.
When I need professional help for the emotional challenges of all this, I visit my therapist, Kathy Slaughter of Soaring Heart Counseling in Broad Ripple. She has a number of trans clients, not all of them as far into the process as I am. For those considering hormones or surgery, the law requires a therapist’s approval. This protects doctors from malpractice claims should a patient change his or her mind down the road. “The trans clients I see fall pretty neatly into one of two categories,” Slaughter says. “One is people who are already living in the desired gender, know exactly who they are, and just need the approval letter. For the other group, I see myself as a companion as they begin to understand the nature of their dysphoria and contemplate the hero’s journey of transitioning.”
A person considering transitioning faces a mountain of challenges—admitting it to yourself, telling your family, navigating work. But it often starts with altering your appearance. In my case, I came to despise everything about being a male, including the attire. When asked by friends why it was so important to wear women’s clothes, I encouraged them to imagine wearing the clothes of the opposite sex, with which they do not identify. When they recognized their immediate disgust at the thought, some began to grasp my predicament.
And so it goes with every aspect of life. Many find the challenges unbearable. An estimated 41 percent of transgender people will try to end their lives. Compare that with 4.6 percent in the general population. For months, my mantra was, You hate being a man. You can’t be a woman. Just kill yourself. Because the transgender condition is so unfamiliar to most people, awful stereotypes fill in the gaps of understanding (pervert, pedophile, sexual fetishist). Death begins to feel like the lesser of two evils.
The origins of this distressing condition are not well understood. When I came across a study about artificial estrogen—sometimes given in the ’50s to prevent pregnant women from miscarrying—disrupting the endocrine system of the fetus, I suspected it might have been given to my mother. At least, that would be evidence for why my brain might not match my body. For most, being transgender is a complete mystery.
Regardless, many trans people are less concerned with the origins of their feelings than how to deal with them. And where you live turns out to be a very important factor.
This photo, taken by our daughter Jackie, appeared with my article.
When I retired from the church in 2014, Julie and I considered moving to Portland, Oregon, which is known as a trans-friendly town. Julie was all for Portland, being genuinely concerned for my welfare. But having gotten to know Indianapolis after our daughter moved here nearly a decade ago, we decided to take a chance on it instead. An estimated 0.3 percent of Americans identify as transgender, amounting to nearly 1 million of us. Doing the math, Indianapolis may have more than 6,000 people in this group in the metro area. And while the city is livelier than we ever could have hoped, Indy is not Portland—hip and progressive. This place tends toward … reliable.
My trans friends in Indy have certainly felt that conservatism. Nebraska native Amy finds both Indy residents and Midwesterners in general to be “fiercely protective of what they’re used to.” Yet she reports that her experiences around town have been mostly positive, except for the occasional stares and giggles. Kit, who is transitioning from male to female, hopes to get back to teaching high school. Her experience also has been fairly positive. “Indianapolis is a city populated by Hoosiers,” she says. “That means no matter what they think privately, most people are unwilling to be directly rude to strangers.” My friend Chris, who identifies as a woman, manages data-storage systems at IUPUI. She is “out” at work, but still dresses androgynously there. So deciding on a bathroom can be a challenge. She feels she appears too feminine for the men’s room, and is self-conscious about using the women’s. She’s pleased that her workplace was one of the first in the city to install unisex bathrooms.
Not everyone’s experience here has been so rosy, however. Michelle, a trans acquaintance of mine who works at Eli Lilly, has seen many of her friends turned away for medical treatment related to transitioning. “So many of us are forced to travel long distances for anything beyond basic services,” she says. “It’s just heartbreaking to think that professionals who take an oath of ‘primum non nocere’ [first, do no harm] would turn away patients simply because they’re different.”
Dr. Melissa Cavaghan is an endocrinologist at IU Health who provides care for trans patients, including me. According to her, “transgender individuals still experience widespread discrimination, some overt, some subtle. This discrimination also comes in the form of exclusion of medical and surgical treatment by many insurance plans.”
Halfway into my own transition, I made my first trip out alone as a woman in January 2015. Although it was only a quick visit to Kroger on East 10th Street, I was filled with trepidation. I dressed in a nondescript way: a simple top and jeans, flats, muted makeup. While I made little eye contact going up and down the aisles, I made good use of my outgoing personality when reaching the cashier. I was sure she would “make” me, but I didn’t know how she would react. So I made the same small talk I would as a guy, trying to put things at ease. Only the stare of a woman in the parking lot, as she watched me put groceries in my car, made me feel I was under a microscope.
Shortly thereafter, Julie and I bought a house on the northeast side. I began to go everywhere as Gina, a name I chose from a baby book. It just seemed to suit me. Everyone in my small circle of friends received the new me with grace and kindness—making the ugly things I saw in the local news last year that much more surprising.
The passage of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act in Indiana impacted all four of the classes of LGBT people, singling us out for discrimination by allowing businesses to deny us service. In the 2016 legislative session, Indiana lawmakers have before them an opportunity to right what was wronged. Although things are looking bleak this year, Freedom Indiana continues to lobby for the addition of four words—“sexual orientation, gender identity”—to the list of civil-rights protections in the state.
When I received Freedom Indiana’s email appeal to get involved, I didn’t hesitate. Yes, Indianapolis has its own protections for LGBT people in place, but you might be surprised how easy it is to find loopholes. Some of my friends, after coming out, have received poor job evaluations, affecting raises and promotions. And at the state level, there aren’t even legal protections to get around.
Then there are the physical dangers. Like many of us who wish we more easily passed as our proper gender, my friend Kit always fears for her safety, which explains the mace spray on her key chain. Physical violence against trans people is all too common. In 2014, a local transgender woman named Ashley Sherman (formerly known as Tajshon), was murdered in the street. Because she had been the victim of previous abuse linked to her identity, the unsolved case remains a possible hate crime.
To honor people like Ashley, I attended the first local Transgender Day of Remembrance on Monument Circle this past November. That event was a sort of public coming-out for me. When one of the planned speakers couldn’t make it, I was recruited to fill in, with 10 minutes to prepare. “You were a minister,” one of the organizers said. “You’re used to this sort of thing.” Grateful for the opportunity, I quickly found my voice. Four of us took turns reading dozens of names of trans women and men murdered over the past year around the world. In that moment, I realized all that I had given up in my spot at what some consider the top of the heap—a professional man with a happy family—to join a minority group that is among the most vulnerable segments of society.
When the Indiana Republicans announced a “compromise” bill that same month exempting religious institutions and certain wedding businesses from serving LGBT folks, we knew we had our work cut out for us. What we need from the legislature is full protection, which it doesn’t look like we’re going to get this session. In the meantime, other Freedom Indiana representatives and I have been talking to the media every chance we get.
The public fight has brought me to deep reflection. While I understand the general public’s hesitation to make sweeping social changes, I cannot shake the fact that my friends and I are law-abiding citizens. If it were illegal to be transgender, our fight would be different. But everything we desire, in every sphere of private and public life, is no more than what every American desires. I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. As a conservative, both in my religion and my politics, I want everyone to be able to live according to his conscience.
I often say that when it comes to educating society, we trans folks are where gay-rights advocates were 20 years ago. Before the early 2000s, I couldn’t have imagined living as a transgender woman in public. That has gotten a little easier, but huge challenges remain. When we’re able to live in peace here with the same rights as everyone else, maybe then the term “Hoosier hospitality” will mean something. Maybe then we’ll feel that the American dream also belongs to us.
In the fourth Whereas, the resolution condemns “anti-scriptural views,” then, among those listed, names “gender fluidity.” Then, in the sixth Whereas, “[A}ttitudes toward gender identity and dysphoria, homosexuality and homosexual marriage, and societal pressures regarding sexuality, among others, have changed markedly in the last forty years … God’s intention for human sexuality does not change”.
Of course, God’s intentions do not change. Nothing instituted by God changes. Do the writers of this resolution forget that Adam’s fall into sin changed everything, throwing into havoc God’s good creation? The resolution’s mention of gender identity and dysphoria ignore, even pretend that the real, physical conditions that are the cause of the gender identity conflict and dysphoria some people experience cannot be the result of the fall into sin—as if those who experience gender fluidity cannot possibly experience a malady that is as real as cancer and, thus, valid to treat with appropriate measures?
Even more, where this concerns those Christians who do not take issue with the Word of God, yet experience the vexing condition which is gender dysphoria, even finding themselves transgender, they are not being understood by the LCMS, are not being heard or treated fairly. Indeed, many in the leadership of the LCMS, along with too many ministers and laypersons, by their willful lack of striving to hear their transgender members and not properly educating themselves on this topic, are sinning against their brothers and sisters in Christ who are afflicted with any of the conditions that cause their gender dysphoria.
The final resolve states: “That Synod in convention urge its pastors to preach and teach God’s counsel regarding the biblical design for marriage and sexuality with courage, as well as to exercise compassionate pastoral care to those struggling with sexual sin and misunderstanding.” I don’t know what “sexuality with courage” is, but I am confident the resolve intends pastors “to preach and teach with courage God’s counsel regarding the biblical design for marriage and sexuality.”
Let’s look at the final word of the resolution: misunderstanding. Dear reader, you may scan my blog menu for a host of essays in which I explain gender dysphoria and what it means to be transgender, and you will also find in the menu a number of pieces regarding the LCMS’ take on transgender and, I assert, it is the LCMS that is misunderstanding the topic.
Not everyone in the LCMS agrees with the willful ignorance of the vocal leaders who display no interest in learning that transgender is just as physical as cancer, and gender dysphoria as painful as a broken leg. Many pastors have heard me, have read my blog and my books, and have engaged me in conversation. They get it, as do many lay people who belong to LCMS congregations.
Because these ministers are in the minority in this contentious case, they have to take care in how they speak, with whom they talk. I have, at times, been disappointed that some of them haven’t stuck up for me and our transgender sisters and brothers in Christ, even as I’ve been able to understand their ticklish situation. They gotta watch their backs.
The LCMS can continue to cover its eyes and harden its heart, as her transgender members seek solace elsewhere, when they don’t want to go elsewhere, but love the Lord and the doctrine believed, taught, and confessed in the LCMS.
I’ll say it again: the LCMS is sinning against transgender persons, which includes the loved ones of those suffering. I remain available to talk with anyone and everyone. Their leaders can read my book, Ministering to Transgender Christians, which I mailed to them in 2020.
The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS) holds its next synodical convention July 29 to August 3. An overture has been submitted regarding transgender—the overture is printed in full at the bottom of this piece—or, as they call it, transgenderism, the addition of ism, or doctrine, appropriate to the purpose of the overture, which is to condemn what they call heresy. Heresy is an opinion or doctrine at variance with the orthodox or accepted doctrine, especially of a church or religious system.
The text of the overture is completely in line with the title, with no allowance for transgender being a physical malady. Thus, the submitters of this overture seek to have the LCMS define transgender as an ism—a doctrine (teaching, position)—and, because it is a doctrine/teaching/position in opposition to the Word of God—as laid out in the whereas paragraphs—it is to be condemned.
My response
If any person being transgender were strictly an idea or belief, the overture would be on the mark. Indeed, according to the Scriptures cited, I have no arguments, as I’ve never disagreed with the LCMS in any doctrine since taking my ordination vows on June 23, 1996. However, the malady—gender dysphoria—that typically precedes a person’s recognizing themselves as transgender, is likely in most cases to be physical in nature—just as real as a cancerous tumor or broken leg.
The LCMS has already acknowledged that intersex conditions exist and, as long as the condition can be verified with the eye, allows for a person to decide how to proceed with medical care, and whether he or she lives as male or female. But, if a person’s condition cannot be verified with the eye, the LCMS (to the best of my knowledge) does not allow for medical intervention, but assumes the conflict/gender dysphoria is spiritually based and must be repented.
In my blog menu (near the top) are numerous pieces regarding the LCMS and gender dysphoria/transgender. I commend you to read through them. Also, further down the menu, look for titles that speak of gender dysphoria and transgender according to their physical nature. Here is a good place to start: Toward understanding gender dysphoria.
How the convention should respond to this overture
The overture pretends that transgender arises strictly from a sinful proclivity. It ignores everything about the physical malady that is gender dysphoria. The ministers, who submitted the overture, don’t concern themselves with the various chromosomal and hormonal conditions in which human beings are not strictly XX or XY, or they do not properly process their sex hormones. These pastors act as if, after God created us male and female, that the fall into sin could not create a physical conflict between brain and body, sex and gender—as if every other corruption in humans, and in the world, are to be expected from Adam’s Original Sin, but when it comes to male and female, um, nope, that can’t happen.
What can’t happen is the passage of this abomination of an overture. These ministers need to study the topic. They can begin with my blog, then move onto my books, Ministering to Transgender Christians and A Roller Coaster Through a Hurricane. On my blog and in my book they will find doctrine that is faithful to the Word of God and the LCMS, and accurate information on the vexing topic that is transgender.
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Overture 5-36 To Condemn Heresy of Transgenderism as Violation of Commandments and Creed
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that He created mankind either male or female according to the body. To wit: “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” (Gen. 1:26–28) (see also Gen. 5:2; Matt. 19:4; Mark 10:6; Rev. 12:5; 13); and
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that He created mankind either man or woman and these correspond with male or female in Genesis 1:27, Genesis 5:2, Matthew 19:4, Mark 10:6, Revelation 12:5 and 13. To wit: “The man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’” (Gen 2:23); and
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that the distinction and difference between male and female is echoed in every creature in whom is the breath of life. To wit: “And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark to keep them alive with you. They shall be male and female.” (Gen. 6:19); also “Take with you seven pairs of all clean animals, the male [husband] and his mate [wife], and a pair of the animals that are not clean, the male [husband] and his mate [wife], and seven pairs of the birds of the heavens also, male and female, to keep their offspring alive on the face of all the earth … of clean animals, and of animals that are not clean, and of birds, and of everything that creeps on the ground, two and two, male and female, went into the ark with Noah, as God had commanded Noah … They went into the ark with Noah, two and two of all flesh in which there was the breath of life” (Gen. 7:2–3, 8–9, 15); and
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that the Son has assumed a male body in the incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ. To wit: “when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Gal. 4:4–5); and
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that He has sanctified both male and female by Baptism into His Son. To wit: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:28); and
WHEREAS, God’s Word teaches that the bodies of both men and women shall be raised on the last day to live eternally in that same body and soul that He created for them. To wit: “after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another” (Job 19:26–27); and, “if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his” (Rom. 6:5); therefore be it
Resolved, That the Synod in convention condemn transgenderism as a violation of the Commandments, most especially as a rebellious lie lacking fear, love, and trust in God who creates us male and female, man and woman; which lies to our neighbor about the nature of male and female, manhood and womanhood; and murders by encouraging the harm of the body; and be it further
Resolved, That the Synod in convention condemn transgenderism as a denial of the Creed, most especially a denial that the maleness or femaleness of every human body is a good gift of the Creator; a false confession that by our own thoughts, words, pharmaceuticals and surgeries we can or should save ourselves from the body that God gave; and failure to confess that the baptized bodies of both men and women become the temple of the Holy Spirit to be raised whole and undefiled on the Last Day; and be it finally
Resolved, That the Synod in convention exhort all members of the church to regularly pray that all who have accepted the false doctrine of transgenderism would be converted to the truth or restrained from perpetuating this damaging lie, and to this end, task the LCMS Worship ministry “Let Us Pray” project to regularly include petitions for all who are harmed in body and soul by the same.
With the Kimberley Beregrove channel having been removed from YouTube, many have found my post, Kimberley Beregrove: kindred spirit, when searching for the YouTube channel. I have posted to YouTube four updates, and posted them here so that those doing an internet search might find them.
Here is the third update video:
Here is the second update video:
And here is the first video:
If you don’t know me, I lived as a transwoman from 2015 to 2018, fully transitioning medically, surgically, legally, and socially. I made a number of videos in those days. This one reflects the spirit of Peter Beregrove, and why he makes videos. It’s from early in my transition.
Another important video:
You can scan the videos on my channel, so I give you only one more that I’m glad I made in those days.
On Sunday, April 16, I was on the road to West Virginia, returning my granddaughter after her spring-break visit to Indianapolis. I’d humored my young passenger with her choice of music and, as she returned to playing her video game, I switched to the radio and found the local NPR station.
The man being interviewed mentioned something about when he was in middle school. I can’t tell you what he said, because my mind immediately went here: it was in the middle school I attended as a child that I stood in the position of instructor.
And that got me pondering all of the levels of school where I’ve taught, or participated in a form of educating. It is no overstatement to say that I was shocked to find that I’ve covered every level from preschool to post-graduate.
Montague’s middle school
Before going into the ministry, for just shy of a decade I worked in Montague at MasterTag, which is a worldwide leader in the manufacturing and sales of tags and labels for plants of every type. This is the place I learned what skills I possess, which came to include my ability to speak to groups.
MasterTag’s owner, Rick Hughes, a wise and savvy fellow—okay, he and I had been friends since high school, and remain so—asked if I would lead Mrs. Knowlton’s eighth grade class in the Junior Achievement curriculum. I’d had Mrs. Knowlton as a teacher, and loved her personality. While teaching seemed daunting—I was thirty years old and had no experience—I joked, “Well, if they’re that desperate.”
Indeed, teaching did prove daunting, especially keeping the attention of thirty eighth graders. I must not have messed up too badly, because I was asked back to do it the next year. I now had my feet wet and, soon, I found myself leaving MasterTag and heading to seminary.
The churches I served
Every minister teaches Bible class and religious instruction, and so I led many classes for ages ranging from pre-teens to nonagenarians.
St. John Lutheran School
In 2001, during my fifth year in the ministry, I received a call to St. John, Port Hope. The prospects of taking this call were more daunting then my first teaching experience, because St. John not only was twice the size of my two Iowa congregations, the congregation also ran an elementary school. Believing the Lord had prepared me, I said yes.
My primary teaching duties were in the Big Room, where I instructed the sixth, seventh, and eighth graders in the Bible and Lutheran doctrine. At times, I found myself in the preschool room, the Little Room (K-2), and Middle Room (3-5).
Port Hope public school
When I arrived in Port Hope, the public school’s superintendent/principal was a member of my congregation. After he got to know me, he approached me about teaching an ethics class to the high school grades. (Port Hope’s school, now closed, was tiny—one of my sons had five in his graduating class—so one room could all four high-school grades.) He allowed me to choose the topics. So, once a week for one school year, I led this class that proved far more daunting than those eighth graders of my first experience.
I liked to find things in the news for the students to consider and debate. My favorite was the case of the woman, who was suing her former employer, because she believed she was fired unjustly. She had been a receptionist and, she believed, she was let go because she was overweight and not considered physically attractive. For at least that one session, I had the teenagers’ attention and some good debate.
Indiana University
The year after I retired from the ministry, I went public regarding my gender dysphoria, then transitioned. I got involved in the local trans group. There, I learned of the opportunity to participate in transgender panel discussions at Indiana University (IU). A friend and I made the 75-minute drive to Bloomington, where we met the coordinator. He took us on as participants, and we soon sat on our first panels.
I went on to participate in thirteen panels. The panels were held in classes taken by future educators and healthcare workers. My favorite panel was the one where no one else showed up, and I got to field every question! Whether it was just myself, one other, or as many as six of us, the students asked great questions, other trans persons taught me a lot, and I learned how to get to the point answering questions.
Indiana University School of Dentistry
Because of panels at IU, I was asked to participate in an LGBTQ panel at IU’s School of Dentistry here in Indy. I did that three years in a row, the first two as Gina and the third as Greg.
The first year, after the discussion concluded, a student approached me. He shocked me with this: “I’m from Montague!” His dad was a dentist and, though his dad wasn’t my regular dentist, I once went to him when I had an emergency.
A Lutheran high school
Early last year, a minister contacted me about coming to the school where he teaches ethics. He’d been using my blog to educate his students on transgender, and said they would love to meet me. We fleshed out what I would accomplish, and scheduled my trip for late May.
I garnered two days of instruction. I began the first day with a session with the teachers and staff. Then, over seven periods covering the entire day, I instructed virtually all of the school’s students. The second day, also of seven periods, I answered questions they had submitted ahead of time.
I consider this the culmination of my educating career. I’d not wanted to leave the ministry, and I did all I could to conquer my gender dysphoria so, when it forced me out of the ministry and into transitioning, I longed to educate regarding transgender, and especially to do so for my fellow Christians. Having published two books on the topic, I now wanted provide in-person instruction. Thus far, I’ve had three opportunities. I am open to every chance to provide sound information on the topic—and, to Christians, a proper biblical understanding.
Bonus: Walmart
Those IU panels got me the invitation to sit on an LGBTQ panel at the Walmart distribution center in Indy. There, after each of the four of us on the panel gave our opening info, dozens of department managers peppered us with questions.
My favorite was this one directed to me: “How do you want us to treat you, when you are shopping in one of our stores.” I stood. “Look at me. I’m tall. I don’t pass as a genetic female. I’m clearly transgender. What I want from your people is to be treated as any other customer. Not better, and not worse. Trans persons just want to be able to live in the world as everyone else.”
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There it is: from preschool, to K-12, in public and parochial schools, in college and graduate schools, and in the workplace, I’ve experienced the role of educator.
As I turn sixty-six this month, I continually marvel at the full, rich life I’ve had. My recent resume revelation is one of the neater things I’ve realized.
What’s next for me? Whatever it is, I’m raring to go!
Haven’t we been taught not to focus only on symptoms, but what is at the root of a problem?
Is anyone asking why young people experience conflict with their sex and gender?
Isn’t that one of the prime areas on which to focus?
The February 22, 2023, headline from Fox 59, Indianapolis.
In Indiana, our legislators are debating what to do about medical care for youngsters who identify as transgender. My state is following the path of other states.
I’m a keen follower of this topic. I have, as they say, skin in the game—ten years of experience with it, after I began telling family, friends, and colleagues that I was being crushed by gender dysphoria.
I experienced the suffering from both inside and out. It is impossible to decide which was worse—was it the internal conflict that left me daily contemplating killing myself, or was it the hatred of many, that I was called a sinner and scandalous, and even made fun of: “He thinks he’s a woman? Ha!”
It was only when I began to dig into the scant scientific research being conducted on those who experience gender dysphoria that I had hope for understanding myself. Before that, I spent a lifetime figuring my desire to be female was a sinful temptation, perhaps a sexual fetish, certainly a spiritual problem. I was a weakling, pure and simple. There was no other explanation.
If you don’t know my story, the succinct version is that in 2013 I could no longer live with myself, in 2014 I retired from my work as a Lutheran minister, and in 2015 I began to transition. In 2016, I had my name legally changed, and in 2017 underwent every transitional surgery. Over these years, I experienced wild hormonal swings—enjoying weeks at a time when I felt fully male, only to have it disappear—which, in 2018, settled in to my sense of being fully male and, when I thought it might finally stick, I resumed living as a male.
It stuck.
It’s been five years. I’ve remained healthy. And the reason I have for the resolution of my fifty-year experience of gender conflict is that I took the medical steps my body needed. I got to the root of the problem. I was healed by the reversing of my sex hormones, because my endocrine system was likely messed up when I formed in my mother’s womb.
While I cannot definitively prove what I believe about my hormones, I have nothing else at which to point that explains what happened to me. And, as I blogged about this, I’ve heard from others, who’ve found themselves in a similar spot. Robert is one of those: Using HRT to remain male.
As I dug deep studying this topic, I learned about endocrine-system-disrupting chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plasticizers. They are everywhere. We have identified numerous maladies caused by them—conditions that are scientifically proven and are being addressed for the sake of those suffering.
But, none of those involve kids altering how they identify. How the rest of the world sees them. How people have to deal with them. Adjust to them. Look at them. Change name and pronouns for them.
I won’t assume anyone’s point of view. I will, however, make some guesses, which are based on my decade of experience with this topic. I’ll start with this stark one: A lot of folks are freaked out by transgender persons. They find the topic yucky. I know this to be true, as I experienced it firsthand.
I’ll move to this one: I fear that positions are taken based on folks’ being offended at the mere notion of anyone being transgender. I suspect that some point at people who obviously are hyper-liberal, because, come on, no sane conservative would ever go for this nonsense. (Oops, I’m conservative—politically, spiritually, and in every way I live.) And that especially conservative Christians view gender dysphoria as a spiritual condition, nothing more than a sinful temptation, with the cure being this: repentance and striving to “get over it.” Finally, I suspect others see this as a mental illness, one to be addressed with therapy, perhaps with medication and, again, striving to “get over it.”
I know these are the mindsets of many, because they were expressed about me and to me.
If I am correct in my guesses, they explain why I’m not hearing reports of lawmakers asking the question: “Why are so many young people feeling they are not the gender their biology would tell us they are? Shouldn’t we be addressing that? Is medical science trying to figure this out?”
In the mean time, states want to take away every medical avenue gender dysphoric youth have to help alleviate their suffering—something lawmakers would never do to those with cancer, or broken legs, or depression. As they make these stifling laws, they aren’t passing companion legislation that will work to get at the root of the problem.
And that’s the root of the problem. They don’t like this subject, transgender. They want to make it go away, so they outlaw it.
And they’ll outlaw more, after they take the first steps. If you think not, look at history for what we have done to our fellow humans.
They aren’t interested in what’s causing the condition, or helping those youngsters who are suffering it. They only want to get it out of their sight.
There. I just assumed their motive.
Shame on me.
Or am I onto something? “By their fruits you shall know them” (Matthew 7:16).
We have solved a lot of problems, and cured a lot of diseases, because we’ve asked, “What’s causing this?” For the sake of our young people, let’s be asking the question regarding gender dysphoria.
Let’s appeal to medical science that it not accept transgender as just another way humans are formed, but as a condition with which no one ever wishes to be plagued.
Let’s put our money where our concerns are.
Something is causing this phenomena, and has been for a long time. Let’s get to work figuring it out.
Eilers Pizza 